Confidence means ‘con fidere,’ meaning with ‘strong belief or faith.’
To have confidence in someone means to have a strong belief that they are able.
Remember, confidence is a belief.
You understood the words above. That means you already have some ability in English. You’re an advanced or intermediate learner and have some level of English.
Let me ask you as a question. Do you believe you can perform at a higher standard?
Well, do you?
You may have answered ‘yes’ or ‘no,’ that’s your belief and shows where you self-confidence is.
I don’t know you yet, but I can tell you right now, I believe you can.
I’ve seen it time and time again. That’s my belief and my confidence in you
However, belief is only the beginning. (We’ll talk more about that in next 30 days.)
Back to my original question. ‘Do you believe you can perform at a higher level?’
You may want to, yet you struggle with confidence. Why?
You speak perfectly fine when you’re with your friends or in casual situations, but when the attention is on you, you get stressed. You can’t communicate. You start focusing on yourself, and you can’t listen to people. Your feel your skin tightening. Your stomach starts turning. Your throat closes shut, and you don’t know if you’re going to be good enough.
Well, there may be several reasons.
To start, life is tough. We don’t get everything we want so quickly.
It takes a lot of effort to get the body we want, the job we love, to ’speak like a native.’
And then, we see other people have those things and how happy they are.
We start to feel worst about ourselves and our confidence.
(Did you notice that? People who struggle with confidence think ‘life is effortless’. Also, they ‘compare themselves to others.’ We’ll talk more about that in a few days.)
On top of all that, the negative media and cynical English teachers, friends and family have large influences on how we think about ourselves. They show us what we ‘should do’ and ’should look like,’ and we keep ’shouldin’ on ourselves.’
STOP ‘SHOULDIN’ ON YOURSELF! (It’s not proper English, but it’s a perfect idea.)
The reason you lack English confidence may not be your fault.
However, at this point, it’s your pain. It’s your responsibility.
Now, here’s an interesting point about a strong long lasting confidence.
No one can take it away from you, and no one can give it to you.
Remember, it’s belief. You develop it.
For the rest of the course, I won’t focus on why you struggle.
We will focus on ‘managing your anxiety and building you confidence.’
Because they are skills. And here is the beautiful thing about skills, you can learn them and improve them over time.
You can learn how to build your confidence, and you’ll get better.
For the next 30 days, I’m going to help you ‘build your English confidence.’
And it’s a skill for more than English. This skill is for your family, your job, and your life.
Thank you for joining me, and can I ask a favor.
If you think this message can help other English learners just like you, share it with them.
Be bold. Be natural. Be you.